A farewell.....

My husband used to be saying to me, ' if I could have my wish, I would wish to die without a dragging long illness which would incur lots of trouble to people having to look after me.' The way he left us was like Allah Granted his wish. He became ill so suddenly at midnight on the 17th September 2010. He woke me up complaining of terrible stomach ache. As I normally responded to that complaint I massaged his tummy the way I had learned to do to ease a constipated stomach pain. At the same time I nagged him for consuming so much grate fruit earlier for dinner. He then said that he had to let out but soonest he was  yelling out that he was bleeding profusely and that he was feeling faint. I called for Zaroff to help me as his body was going limp. Zaroff was watching television in the tv room upstairs. He rushed and together we cleansed him and carried him to the bedroom couch because he had already fainted. I administered the tiny pill under his toungue thinking that he was having a heart attack. Immediately he opened his eyes and gave me a sweet tired smile. In the meantime Asrul and Alang had come and had called for the ambulance and we managed to admit him to the ICU unit by 2am. The specialist said he had lost a lot of blood and needed bottles of blood transfusions. By Friday he was discharged well and smiling and on Saturday insisted I drove him to the wet market at section 14 because he wanted to buy crabs for the children who were coming for our weekly family dinner. And of course he ate the crabs more than the children did. On Sunday afternoon, he had a second attack. This was more sudden than the first one. He had no time to rush to the bathroom. He was bleeding in the bedroom and he fainted in my arms before he could sit down. I put his head on the floor and searched for the heart tablet again. Seconds later he opened his eyes and smiled. After cleaning up we again had the ambulance take us to the hospital. I told the doctor that this time he had too much crabs. The doctor dismissed the gratefruit or the crab cause to the problem. He did some scans and concluded that he was suspecting something wrong with his small intestines as his colon was clear. He offered three options. One was of course an operation to remove the damaged intestines but considering his age, the doctor was not keen on it as that would be a 50/50 chance of survival.The second option was to let it be and just rush to the hospital each time a bleeding occured to get blood transfusions. The doctor told me that what I did in putting his head on the floor each time he fainted was the right thing to do. The worst thing would be to put him in a sitting position. By having his head flat at body level was to allow the blood and oxygen to rush to his head. The doctor was in favour of that option although it entailed a lot of inconvenience. He would have to remain confined to the house as the bleeding would happen anywhere and very fast. On the other hand, he said that the problem might just disappear with time. There had been cases where the bleeder or bleeders would just heal itself. My husband did not like the idea of the inconveniences involved in the second option. The third option was to rush the hospital while bleeding and they could gun stoppages to the holes once they could see the bleeders through the scan. That would be very chancy. With that options in mind he was discharged two days after the second bleeding. He was cheerful on Saturday morning when our friend, Jun and Dato Kamaruzzaman came to visit. He was talking about playing golf and travelling again. In my mind I was thinking, ' this cannot be real he must be kidding'. On Sunday morning, my brother, Dr Bahari came as I had phoned earlier to ask for his opinion. My brother told of the tremendous risks of having the operation. He said he had consulted a few of his specialist friends about such operations. With my husband he was very diplomatic and entertained my husband's ramblings about his plan for an operation.