Maybe age is a factor. At 72, I tend to get tired easily I guess but physically I was not tired, I could do all the tawafs after the early morning prayers. Its so different from the feelings I had when I did the Haj first time in 1981. The moment I arrived in Jeddah, everything was so overwhelming to me that I could feel my soul in every ritual that I did. We arrived at Mekah early dawn and with the mutawif who was waiting for us, my friend, Zaharah and I, did the tawaf, dawn prayer and sai' and we checked in at the our place of stay at the Tabung Haji Building. My heart was already in it and I remained very focussed in every aspect of the Haj Rituals. I could feel the same feelings in all my other visits.
Yet the overwhelming feeling was just not there in my recent umrah. I am feeling sad about it as though something went amiss.
I found Mekah has changed so much. There is massive renovation works on one side of the mosque and very tall apartment buildings and shopping Mall on the other side making the mosque looking rather insignificant. If one stands infront of the Abdul Aziz Door or Door 79, looking at one's right and left , one cannot help but feeling sad.
The crowd is tremendous. Groups of pilgrims from the Middle East countries were everywhere. They all move in groups and would just push others aside if they are separated from their groups. Apparently most of them feared losing their way around and so they had to stick to their leaders. They seemed to be rushing around together all the time. These are mostly pilgrims from Turkey, Iran, Morocco, Tunisia, Egypt and the other countries in the region. I personally talked to a few of them, and they said that it was their first time. These rush everywhere, while doing the tawafs or during prayer times is a bit uncomfortable. Why the rush? All the rituals that we did are for Allah and they should be done in a smooth fashion with all the discipline and respect for Allah. This is really puzzling to me. Is this the way to behave while paying homage to Him? Rushing and pushing fellow Muslims!
As with times I presume thats the reason telephones and cameras are allowed into the mosque. But I feel the sacredness of the mosque and the holiness in all the rituals that we do is being tampered with. I felt greatly disturbed while praying and listening to the recitations by the Imam when the phone belonging to the lady besides me kept on ringing! She could not answer the phone as she was following the prayer. I also feel my tawafs are affected when fellow muslims either talk on the handphones or clicking away taking photographs! The Tawaf is like a prayer, it has to be done in a serious sober manner with all our hearts and souls focussed as we know Allah is Watching us. It is like we are paying Him a homage and there should not be any distractions!
I was not at all satisfied with the organisation of the umrah for our group. The whole planning was weak. Our going to Medina first via a one night stop at Bahrain and travelling by bus to and from Medinah to Mekah was tiring us. In my previous umrahs we went to Mekah first and we travelled by air to and from Medinah and Mekah. We saved energy that way. The organisation was so poor , eating was always a hassle and group interection was nil. The leader was not a person of her words, she made promises which she did not keep and at the end of the trip she just apologised. Thats it. I pray Allah forgives her her short comings.
This is my fourth day of my return from the umrah and I am feeling still exhausted, physically and spiritually exhausted! I wonder if Allah Grants me another chance of an umrah which is better planned by a better travel agency. I pray for that chance Ya ALLAH.
Assalamu Alaikum. I'm sorry to hear that your recent Umrah experience wasn't as peaceful and well-organized as your previous ones. But I pray that may Allah accept your Umrah and all of your prayers.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I, along with his younger brother and mother, are planning to go for our first Umrah this May (first week) InshaAllah.