DILEMA OF OLD AGE

Growing old is both sad and happy but mostly sad I feel. There are so many things still that you feel you need and want to do, yet you know deep down that your have very limited time to do it. Reviewing the things that you had hoped to accomplish when you were younger, and realising that you have actually done very little, or some of it only, you cannot help but feel sad that you may not have the time anymore to do it.

For example, when I was younger, I had wanted to be a writer. I bought books on how to write. I used to do some writing on my own. Somehow it got subothaged and it did not take off at all. The yearning is still there but the will  is gone.

I remember also I wanted so much to do a patch-work bed cover. I used to collect bags full of material remnants planning  that one day I would get to it. I did partly and the rest never got done and recently I threw everything away and thats the end of that dream.

There are still so many books in the house  waiting to be read. I somehow could not find the time to attend to it and they never got read.

On the other hand, I found myself into studying Quranic Arabic and I became so consumed by it that I spend all my waking hours attending to it and I found so much joy out of it. Now I found there are still so much to learn about it to fully understand the real MEANINGS of The Book, and I fear that I may not have the time to accomplish it. The language is so beautiful that every time I read I see different meanings in the message. I wished I had started studying it much earlier when I was younger, when my mind was still very alert and concentration was optimum. I am very grateful to Allah for giving me the opportunity. Anyway no regrets here.