Anxiety over having to leave the comfort zone

Tomorrow morning I shall, God Willing, will venture out with my 2 sisters and a neice and nephew plus their family members, on a small pilgrimage called the Umrah in Mecca. Our journey will first take us to Bahrain because we are travelling by Gulf Air. We will stay overnight at Bahrain. Then from there we will proceed to Jeddah and then on to Medinah. After a few days only we will go to Mecca.

I have been on several umrahs before but cant help feeling anxious somehow. I know from experience travelling to that particular part of the world we never know what to expect. Its never been what we expect in a normal travel. Why this is so I dont know. The whole thing has not changed very much. I was in that part of the world in year 2003. There would be delays and hassles here and there, all man made! I would be really surprised if things have changed for the better.

Talking about venturing out, it always causes anxieties sort of. Ever since I came back from a month long stay in Aberdeen on the 9th of January 2009, I have lived a  very routinised life. I go to Quranic classes in the mornings and teach in the afternoons. This would  also be on Saturdays. I have also established my afternoon and evening routines. Before I teach I would have a short nap listening to the music I bought at Aviemoor in Scotland,  then I would attend to my emails. After that I would exercise on the treadmill for about 40 minutes before I do my yoga while watching my favourite drama on tv3. At night I would play scrabble or read or watch more dramas on television and end up reading the AL Quran before I sleep at midnight. I am beginning to love my routine life and its this interruption thats causing my anxcieties.

I am beginning to love my own company, just loving it to be by myself and loving doing what I do alone. Listening to the music becomes more serene. When I listen to the cds ,tazkirah by ustaz Kariman I could absorb more the essence of what he was saying. When I read the Quran late at night I could sense what beyond what the words are saying  and begin to understand deeper into the meanings of what Allah Means to Say. Alhamdulillah.  I just feel happy to be by myself.

I sincerely hope this umrah would give me a much deeper sense of peace, insyaalah.